Hi everyone i'm knew to this group i'm 27 and i have a daughter who is
9. it seems like she's just growing up to fast  she's so independent
she's my baby i'm not ready for her to grow up  "YET'. how do i cope
with her growing up to fast in this crazy world that we live in today.

HI poppy,
The best thing you can do for her is to love her and support her and be
there for and try to guide her but in the end that is really all you can do.
If you have instilled good sense  and the right moral values then that is
all you can do and she has to choose the right path in life for herself.
Good Luck
Wendy

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Dear Poppy,

Yes of course, you will cope up of it.
most of the time it happens,it is like as if We are loosing our loved
ones,because we used to be over protective,and judge this world from our own
perception and experiences of life.
Be patient. If you are really feeling your daughter is growing up,do guide
her, but dont impose yourself to her. let her form her own
perception.Thiswill surely help her to build a healthy personality in
future.And most of all be at ease. she is just 9,and she might grow but
growth and development are indispensible part of our life.so let her grow
and help her develop a healthy personality.
God Bless you

On 3/14/08, poppy <anonamou...@gmail.com> wrote:

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بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته
جزاك الله خيرا
SINCERELY
K.F

Thanks for the advices  i really appreciate it, but i do know i have a
long road ahead and what ever will come will come and i will deal with
it at the best of my knowledge. thank you all for the advices.

On Mar 17, 6:02 am, k.f.chandiwala <kchandiw...@gmail.com> wrote:

Hi Poppy,
They all grow up so quickly these days - physically and mentally,
unfortunately the emotional side tends to lag.
Be honest with her and talk to her as a person, not down to her as a
child. If you are rational and explain the situation they will often
understand.

It is important NOT to use a negative... The subconscious doesnt
really process a negative directly.. so avoid the word 'Don't"

Refarme the sentence eg Hey! Walk with Scissors OK ... is much better
than "Don't Run with Scissor"  (besides what happens if they simply do
not hear the "DON'T!") ie your outside and the ball is heading to the
road and you yell "Don't Chase the Ball onto the Road" because the
wind carries the first word away... They might consider the ball is
very important.

One 'trick' that always worked for me was to allow them make the
deciaion and to choose a choice
The principle is always the same....
Choice 1. The choice you want her to make
Choice 2. The one you know she definitely won't take.

eg.. Imagine this scenario, Saturday you've planned to go to the
movies with her.. Thursday night she says she wants a friend to come
over to stay the night on Friday after school (which is fine by you)
- but her room is a mess, and shes not particularly fond of tidying it
and she really should...

"OK, I tell you what, I will give YOU the choice and its YOUR decision
as to which you choose undrstood??"
(wait for their agreement)
"Now if you spend 20 minutes tidying your room instead of watching TV
and it passses my inspection, your friend can come to stay overnight."
(2nd choice)
"But she can't come unless its tidy, so, if it isn't tidy tonight ,
not only will she NOT come over, it also means we won't go to the
movie Saturday afternoon, because that is the only time I have to stay
at home, so I can be here to tell you how and where to put your things
away..."

Now your decision... What would you like to do? Tidy your room now and
have your firend over, or miss the movies on Saturday??

(99.9% They will go and tidy their room straightaway - ..

ie choose what you want them to do..the objective being a tidy room.
This works particularly well with children and pre-teens, it takes a
while before they realize that there is a 3rd choice and that is to do
neither.

Regarding loving your children...and no disrespect to Wendy, most of
us love our children - and yet why are youth suicide rates climbing
(at least in Australia), why are so many kids running away from home,
getting involved in drugs - or worse?

Yes it is about love, and sadly while many parents do love these young
people, the teenagersmay disagree Why??

Its all about belief.. Your belief is your reality.The greatest gift
we can give our children is not unconditional love.

It is the belief that they are loved unconditionally.And this belief
has to be not just consciously known but a deep seated subconscious
belief.

But the belief  while it doesn't always happen automatically, & sadly,
it can be very fragile - one cross word can be all it takes to undo
all your good work.

But instilling the belief of being love  is very easy to do, but like
a lot of things that is easy... there is a 'knack' I have a friend who
developed a process in Australia that takes 5  minutes to do, around
30-45 minutes after you tuck your child into bed.

Look for "More Info" -  the Story  of Joane and Michelle at :
http://www.smart-parenting.com

It was developed for Michelle a girl who has an IQ of 45, cerebral
palsy, dyspraxia of the throat and dyslexia. She is now married has a
certificate in horticulture and owns her own home - (not a bad outcome
or someone who doctors said should be institutionalized and
forgotten.)

This procedure suits all chiildren and families, (ADHD, autism,
cerebral palsy and other issues as well)  -  I believe that it should
be taught in Neonatal 101 - but thats another story.

Anyway.. enough said..

Good luck and God bless you and your 'little one'
David

On Apr 6, 6:05 am, poppy <anonamou...@gmail.com> wrote:

Hi Poppy,
I too have a 6 going on 7 year-old daughter. When she started
kindergarten I swore I wouldn't cry and course I did. Now she is in
the first grade and it hasn't gotten easier. But the problem is she
wants her own independence, and that is hard to give. The way I am
coping with it, always be there to listen. It seems they have many
things they want to tell you about school and friends, but don't know
if they should. Let them know they can tell you anything (and
sometimes this stuff will shock you!) but you have to be supportive
and let them know whether it is good or bad things they say.
Also, limit computer time. I go outside and play with both my girls
for atleast half an hour a day before we start making supper, this
time seems like our bonding time. Even a story before bed, anything to
stay connected to them. And patience. They say the older they get the
harder it is on the parent and I believe this. Stay strong and keep
your head up!

Jada

On Mar 13, 11:19 pm, poppy <anonamou...@gmail.com> wrote: